Two Steps Forward, But How Many Steps Back?

I've read one interesting and one infuriating article about same-sex marriage published in the past few days that are definitely worth sharing. The first, from The New York Times, talks about the dichotomy of popular mainstream lesbian celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres and the struggle for same-sex marriage rights in the US:

In what may have been the most public display of gushingly romantic affection between two gay or lesbian celebrities, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi professed their love in the secular chapel of Oprah Winfrey’s daytime talk show on Monday.

The moment came less than a week after voters in Maine, like those in 30 states before it, rejected same-sex marriage, and just a day before New York legislators would again postpone consideration of a bill to legalize such weddings, conceding inadequate support.

[...]

In the handful of states where same-sex marriage is legal, legislatures and courts — not voters — have made it so. A few polls in recent months have suggested that while a majority of Americans believe that gay couples should be able to enter into unions with some of the legal protections of marriage, a minority believe that gays and lesbians should be permitted to “marry,” per se. Same-sex marriage doesn’t fit into the kind of family that many Americans believe should be idealized; it offends many others’ deeply felt religious principles.

And yet Ms. DeGeneres, who exchanged vows with Ms. de Rossi during a span last year when same-sex marriage was legal in California, seems more popular than ever — and among audiences squarely in the mainstream.

The second, from The Washington Post, reports on possibly the shittiest thing the Catholic Church has done (or, in this case, threatened to do) in recent memory (and that's saying something):

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.

I mean, really, what a better way to say "God is love" than to threaten to stop helping people if you don't get what you want!

(H/T Kate R. for the links)

Feminist Flashback #24

For this week's (second) Feminist Flashback, I present to you all Marjane Satrapi's Persepolis. The film was fantastic, but the books are really phenomenal. If you haven't read the books, I suggest you go out and do so right now. For your viewing and reading pleasure, first, a panel from the 2003 book (click to enlarge) and, second, the trailer for the 2007 film adaptation:

Gene Robinson at "We Are One" event

You've all probably heard by now (or noticed it yourself if you were watching the HBO broadcast), that Bishop Gene Robinson's invocation during the pre-inaugural "We Are One" event was cut off (probably unintentional, but pretty negligent on the part of whomever planned the broadcast/event schedule). Well, here's the invocation for those of us (that's pretty much everyone who wasn't in the audience) who missed it:


(H/T Feminist Law Professors)

Also, check out Bishop Robinson's appearance on last night The Daily Show.

And, last but not least, Gwen and Tonni wrote an incredibly compelling post today on feminism and religion over at Girl w/Pen.

Melissa Etheridge and Rick Warren redux

Since New Years, the whole Rick Warren debacle has faded somewhat from my mind (which, I'll admit, it probably shouldn't have), but then Melissa Etheridge has to go and dredge it all up again, reprising her role as arbitrator of what the LGBTQ community should think.

Courtesy of The Bilerco Project comes this NPR interview (which I'm surprised I missed since NPR is pretty much on 24 hours at our house):

And I just want to make sure that as the liberals and progressives and Democrats or whatever you want to call us are moving into this new time with this new president do not say that they, the evangelicals who say such horrible things about gays, they have to stay over here and we're not going to let them in. That makes us no better than the last administration.

Just because he [compares gays to incest or polygamy] does not mean I have to not speak to him, or don't ever want to be in his company. We had a crazy experience at the Muslim Public Affairs Council conference...We met, we spoke. He's a fine person...He said he was trying to make the definition of marriage not change, not necessarily saying that gays are pedophiles or any of that stuff. One can draw whatever they want from that. This is what he told me.

TBP's Michael Crawford writes "Hav[ing] gay celebs like Melissa Etheridge making excuses for anti-gay leaders like Rick Warren does us no good," and I completely agree with him. That said, I do take issue with his suggestion that she just "shut up and sing," which, to me, smacks of the idea that Etheridge has no worthy opinions to express and that artists (particularly female artists?) should be seen and not heard, so to speak. That's bullshit (and it may be that that's not what Michael meant, but nevertheless that particularly phrasing made me uneasy). However, I do wish Etheridge would stop telling the LGBTQ community that we need to let the Warrens of the world into our hearts. Let's see some contrition on the sides of the evangelical right and then I might think about offering an olive branch.

Christmas and the Patriarchy

God rest, ye merry gentleman, let nothing you dismay,
For we'll hear pastor Warren's words inauguration day,
To save us from those horrid gays, 
Whom Satan's led astray,

Good tidings of comfort and joy...

That was me trying to be really clever. I'll stop now.

Given that most holidays are tools of the patriarchy (Valentine's Day, anyone?), it comes as no surprise that the system has it's fingerprints all over Christmas, too. Here are my thoughts on the subject, illustrated (musically?) by carols, for either your pleasure or disgust according to temperament.

(Disclaimer: I have a bit of a confession to make - I consider myself a christian, little 'c' intentional, although I most definitely hold substantially different beliefs from most so-called 'Christians'! My views on Christmas are thus informed by my religious beliefs.)

So - five reasons that Christmas is a tool of the patriarchy:


Reason 1 - Christmas is Christ - mas
("O come, O come Immanuel")

Most people aren't Christians. Why celebrate a holiday for a religion you don't believe in? And, if you do believe in it, I think you'll agree that our current celebrations have little to do with the event supposedly being celebrated. So, why the pressure to observe Christmas? It's simple uniformity. If we all do it, we all think a bit more the same, and we'll all be more inclined to not question the system, especially...

Reason 2 - The Virgin Obsession
("A Virgin Unspotted")

Yes, christians believe that Jesus was born of a virgin. Yes, it has a significant symbolic meaning. That should not, however, translate into a cultural obsession with virginity! Even the Bible doesn't dwell on the virgin birth at all. For that matter, the Bible only assigns the Christmas story a fraction of the importance that we assign it. (It's only mentioned in two of the four gospels!) In any case, once you have the virgin, and she is sacrificed to her husband, you have the traditional family, perfect for...

Reason 3 - Emotional Nostalgic Nonsense and 'Family Values'
("Children, Go Where I Send Thee")
As far as I can tell, we're all supposed to have these wonderful childhood memories of Christmas, of getting gifts from our family, etc., etc. Then, we spend half of our lives trying to recreate the same experiences for our children. Curiously enough (if you don't mind me dragging the conversation back to Jesus for a second), the 'Christmas family' was a bit of a mess. Mary was already pregnant when she married Joseph, they moved several times, the siblings didn't get along. Jesus told several people to leave their families and follow him! But the patriarchy wants us to maintain the belief that our biological family is the only one that really counts. Christmas traditions reinforce that. Also, what family would be complete without the patriarch himself...

Reason 4 - Masculinity
("The Boar's Head Carol")
Because even Christmas is about killing things! In modern times, of course, we hunt for boars at the mall...

Reason 5 - Commercialism
Enough said.

Interestingly enough, the gifts were originally supposed to be for the less fortunate:
("Good King Wenceslas", ignoring the annoying charity association...)


This Christmas, enjoy time with whomever you may call family, sing carols if they make you happy, make fun of them if you don't, and do something to help stop oppression. That's the true spirit - perhaps the spirit of Christmas, perhaps not - but certainly, the spirit of life.

Milk(ing) the Gays

My partner and I went to see Milk last night, and it was fantastic and Sean Penn was phenomenal. My partner cried the last twenty minutes of the film--in a good way, I think--and I was profoundly moved, though not to tears, since that's really not my style. I highly recommend that everyone go see Milk and then tell everyone you know to go see Milk and ask yourself if much has really changed. In all fairness, a lot has changed, for the better, but some things are still very much the same, particularly anti-gay rhetoric, the same arguments and illogical reasoning rehashed now for over thirty years. They use actual clips from some of Anita Bryant's 1970s anti-gay speeches in the film, and it was striking how much they resonate now at this very moment. In the same breath that she proclaims she "loves" gay people (like she probably "loves" all "sinners," in hopes they will find Jesus and repent), she decries homosexuality as a vile sin and states her hopes that one day homosexuality will be made illegal (and persecutable). This sounds incredibly familiar, even more so now that Melissa Etheridge--and this frustrates and baffles me more than anything--has come out and defended Pastor Warren. Melissa Etheridge. Yes. I am serious. She posted an open letter on The Huffington Post:

As I was winding down the promotion for my Christmas album I had one more stop last night. I'd agreed to play a song I'd written with my friend Salman Ahmed, a Sufi Muslim from Pakistan. The song is called "Ring The Bells," and it's a call for peace and unity in our world. We were going to perform our song for the Muslim Public Affairs Council, a group of Muslim Americans that tries to raise awareness in this country, and the world, about the majority of good, loving, Muslims. [...] I received a call the day before to inform me of the keynote speaker that night... Pastor Rick Warren. I was stunned. My fight or flight instinct took over, should I cancel? Then a calm voice inside me said, "Are you really about peace or not?"

I told my manager to reach out to Pastor Warren and say "In the spirit of unity I would like to talk to him." They gave him my phone number. On the day of the conference I received a call from Pastor Rick, and before I could say anything, he told me what a fan he was. He had most of my albums from the very first one. What? This didn't sound like a gay hater, much less a preacher. He explained in very thoughtful words that as a Christian he believed in equal rights for everyone. He believed every loving relationship should have equal protection. He struggled with proposition 8 because he didn't want to see marriage redefined as anything other than between a man and a woman. He said he regretted his choice of words in his video message to his congregation about proposition 8 when he mentioned pedophiles and those who commit incest. He said that in no way, is that how he thought about gays. He invited me to his church, I invited him to my home to meet my wife and kids.

Sounds to me like he liked your album and he charmed you a bit, Ms. Etheridge. Not only that, a lot of people are willing to be kind and friendly and tolerant to one person (not to mention one famous person), but still believe, quite fervently, that homosexuals as a group are vile and evil and sinful. Melissa Etheridge's partner, Tammy Lynn, has this brilliant bit to add (pardon my sarcasm, I'm a bit piqued), on her blog (H/T to the The Bilerco Project):

rick is not a televangelist. rick is not falwell. rick spoke of some "stupid" things he's said (his word, not mine), some missquotes that were given, and lots of ammunition from the media. all excellent points. (we're all war-minded right now, you know. it's easy for the media to distract us by throwing us into our own verbal wars here at home.) ) what to do, what to do.... the rest of the public is given an animation of rick warren... and then my wife meets the man behind the projections, the quotes, the "OTHER SIDE". and he is warm, caring, effusive, and LOVES gays. since he nearly swallowed honey when he hugged her, i tend to believe him. he wants our gay marriages to be just as respected and embraced as the straight marriages.

Ha! Pastor Warren's pro-gay marriage now? Really? That'll be the day. Hell hath indeed frozen over if you're willing to believe that he's changed his mind (not to mention his church's stance on homosexuality) just like that. Or is he publicly opposed but privately in favor of gay marriage? Somehow that seems extraordinarily doubtful...and highly problematic...and hogwash if I've ever heard it.

And one more thing: Ms. Etheridge, please don't presume to tell me what to think about someone who I personally find completely insidious, who has insulted me and those I love:

They don't hate us, they fear change. Maybe in our anger, as we consider marches and boycotts, perhaps we can consider stretching out our hands. Maybe instead of marching on his church, we can show up en mass and volunteer for one of the many organizations affiliated with his church that work for HIV/AIDS causes all around the world.

Maybe if they get to know us, they wont fear us.

We should volunteer for his church's causes (when there are plenty of other non-bigoted HIV/AIDS causes out there dying for volunteers and donations)? Excuse me? What sort of public steps is Pastor Warren going to take to make amends to and build bridges with the LGBTQ community? Is he going to publicly apologize for what he's said about us (and no, saying he's sorry to you in private, Ms. Etheridge, is not the same thing)? Is he going to publicly state that he's gay-positive and believes queer folks deserve equal civil rights, gay marriage, and legal protections of all kinds? I highly doubt he's going to do any of those things. I think he's going to say to you, Ms. Etheridge, that's he sorry and that he "loves" gays (just like the lovely Anita Bryant many years ago) and then he's going to continue to preach to his congregation that homosexuality is a sin and he's going to continue to support anti-gay and anti-woman causes. Don't you realize, Ms. Etheridge, that now you're just his token gay woman whom he can hold up to the world to demonstrate his "tolerance"? I'm all for peace and acceptance and good will and gestures of good faith, but I wouldn't want to be the person who helps him pretend he's really all down with women and homosexuals (two for one, what a deal!) while behind-the-scenes he can continue to promote intolerance and hatred. Do you really want to be Pastor Warren's beard, Melissa Etheridge? Really?

Update: Holly over at Feministe also has a great take on this in an open letter to Melissa and Tammy Lynn.

Rick Warren petition

Sign the petition.

At this point I'm not sure how much good this will do -- I wonder if Obama is capable, unlike Bush, of admitting when he's made a mistake. This is setting such an awful tone for the inauguration and the start of what was shaping up to be an exciting new term. I worry what other surprises are in store.

Check out Rachel Maddow's take on the Warren situation:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Gay marriages will save the economy!

Proposition 8, The Musical

This is hilarious. Starring Jack Black (as Jesus), John C. Reilly, Margaret Cho, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, Allison Janney, Sarah Chalke, Neil Patrick Harris, and many more.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

H/T pretty much everyone I know.

Accolade - The All-Girl Saudi Rock Band

If you read the New York Times or any of the major blogs, you've probably heard about the first all-girl Saudi rock band. It's a pretty interesting story - Saudi culture has relaxed to the point that the band is a possibility, and they are apparently becoming a bit of an underground hit in the country. This, of course, is wonderful news from a feminist and humanitarian point of view. It's a sign of the improving cultural conditions that reformers in the country have been working hard to achieve.

Here's an excellent commentary on the band and the reactions to it, and you can hear the band's single here.

Despite many of the reactions on the web, Accolade isn't exactly on the cutting edge of Saudi cultural change. (Several Saudis have commented that they aren't even the first all-girl rock band, only the first one to go public) And while their existence is certainly nothing to sniff at, I think that their most important impact may come from a rather different direction.

Accolade is musically quite good. I've only hear the one song, of course, but I think they might turn out to be really, really good. In five years they might be as good as, say, Girlschool. This means that they could have staying power far beyond the "Ooh, a Saudi Girl Band! Shiny!" that the media has latched on to. They could have an international following - and they wouldn't be the "First All-Girl Saudi Band" - they would be "Accolade! (Of Saudi Arabia)".

And that would be something incredible. They would be an inspiration to women in oppressed cultures everywhere. They would spawn imitators, and hasten the cultural changes in Muslim countries. And perhaps most interesting of all, they would change the world's perception of Muslim Arabs. Whereas now, when the average paranoid westerner hears 'Muslim' or 'Arab', the first thought that comes to mind is 'Terrorist!' Wouldn't it be amazing if, instead, people thought "Hey, that new album from Accolade is AWESOME!"

Perhaps it won't happen - but I think that there's a chance! Their song has already received 78,000 listens - in only twenty days. Google "Saudi Rock Band" - it's all them. All they need now is a youtube video!

Feminism and Religion ~ Ayaan Hirsi Ali

I just wanted to post a quick note of congratulations and support to feminist author Ayaan Hirsi Ali, who won this year's Anisfield-Wolf Book Award for nonfiction last night in Cleveland, OH. Her appearance at the awards had to be kept a complete secret up until the moment of presentation because she has suffered such persecution--as well as multiple threats on her life--due to her radical, outspoken autobiography, Infidel, published last year.


Born in Somalia, Hirsi Ali fled an arranged marriage when she was 22 and was granted asylum in the Netherlands. She converted from Islam to atheism, and recently became a member of the Dutch Parliament and is an avid activist for women's rights and religious freedom.

In case you haven't heard of her or her book, here's an excerpt...the first page of her introduction:

One November morning in 2004, Theo van Gogh got up to go to work at his film production company in Amsterdam. He took out his old black bicycle and headed down a main road. Waiting in a doorway was a Moroccan man with a handgun and two butcher knives.

As Theo cycled down the Linnaeusstraat, Muhammad Bouyeri approached. He pulled out his gun and shot Theo several times. Theo fell off his bike and lurched across the road, then collapsed. Bouyeri followed. Theo begged, “Can’t we talk about this?" but Bouyeri shot him four more times. Then he took out one of his butcher knives and sawed into Theo’s throat. With the other knife, he stabbed a five-page letter onto Theo’s chest.

The letter was addressed to me.

Two months before, Theo and I had made a short film together. We called is Submission, Part 1. I intended one day to make Part 2. (Theo warned me that he would work on Part 2 only if I accepted some humor in it!) Part 1 was about defiance—about Muslim women who shift from total submission to God to a dialogue with their deity. They pray, but instead of casting down their eyes, these women look up, at Allah, with the words of the Quran tattooed on their skin. They tell Him honestly that if submission to Him brings them so much misery, and He remains silent, they may stop submitting.

There is the woman who is flogged for committing adultery; another who is given in marriage to a man she loathes; another who is beaten by her husband on a regular basis; and another who is shunned by her father when he learns that his brother raped her. Each abuse is justified by the perpetrators in the name of God, citing the Quran versus now written on the bodies of the women. These women stand for hundreds of thousands of Muslim women around the world.

And if you still need reasons to check out the book for yourself, here are a few book reviews:

"The Fight for Muslim Women" | by Anne Applebaum

"No Rest for a Feminist Fighting Radical Islam" | by William Grimes

Against Submission | by Ian Burma